Friday, December 20, 2013

Funny Quotes By Uncle Si From Duck Commander

  • "Hey look here, napping is just like hunting. You walk through the warehouse; you look over there and hey perfect spot. Boom I'm asleep."
  • "Hey look here of course I like the Black Eyed Peas. Hey, it makes me hungry when I say the name. Because you'd think it's a dish. But it isn’t. It's a band."
  • "You can stop and smell the roses, but don't stay too long; you may get stung by a bumble bee."
  •  "I like all kinds of music, Meat Loaf, Corn, throw a little salt and pepper on it."
  •  "In Vietnam they will steal your tires while you're driving down the road and you would never know it. Hey, they would steal your radio with the music still playing."

  • "This snowcone is giving me a brain sneeze. It's when your brain needs to sneeze, but it caint cause its a brain, so it just hurts"
  •  "I may not use any of this stuff but hey look I can sell it on Greg's List! "
  •  "First it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns...next thing you know, you're shavin' your beard and wearin' capri pants." 
  •  "I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean of your butt."
  •  "One time, in Vietnam, I saw a grizzly bear ridin' a scooter". 
  •  "I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.." 
  • "Hey, you want something done right, don't ask me." 


  • "I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones...and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie." 
  • "Any animal can get big boys...Hey..once i reached down to pet a little dog and when i did..hey..it was a 5 pound squirrel."
  • ''Plenty of fish in the sea...stingray...gamma ray...ray-ban...'' 
  • "There are two kinds of people in this world... the educated and the unducated." 
  • "Hey can mean anything. It can mean yes, it can mean maybe, it could mean no, it could mean next week. Hey, the bottom line is you have to understand me to understand hey." 


  • "Hey, I once got handed down underwear and a paperclip for Christmas, and it was a great gift." 
  • "I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that."
  • "I'm so dope, I am illegal in 50 states!"
  • "I'm like a Arethra Franklin. Don't get any R-S-P-E-C-T 'round this joint!"
  •  "One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!"
  •  "My humps, my humps, my lovely, lovely, humps" 
  •  "Well Phil invented the duck call so he's the Duck Commander. if I invented the beaver call, maybe I'd be the Beaver Commander. has a nice ring to it, Beaver Commander." 
  • "Gimme 15 more minutes, I'm dreamin' about beavers." 
  •  "Whether you're talkin' about bees, dogs or women, Pain can come up on you QUICKLY ..." 
  •  "These boys packed so much stuff, Hey, they could survive a zombie, nuclear, a-poca-liss" 
  •  "Work hard. Nap hard. Hey, that's what I always say, Jack."
  • "I don't know any redneck that's not into fun. That's their middle name. "Red-Fun-Neck"! "

  •   "You Kids ever heard of the term NAM!" 
  •  "Hey, the difference between a cold donut and a hot donut is I can eat 6 cold ones and 48 hot donuts, that's the difference."
  •  "Last time i dressed up,was in sheep skin on a recon mission in nam"
  •  "Hey I'd be playin in the NBA if it weren't for my trick knee. Hey I'd slam it in yo face and yo momma's face, Jack."
  •  "It's on like donkey kong!"
  • "Hey, I'm telling you we can't fix this. You can't fix stupid." 
  • "That man has everything, Trucks, Jeeps, Chairs, Pool tables, Mattresses, RV's, Tatader salad, Cold watermelon, He's got everything Jack, .. hey, . sack of oranges.."
  •  "I'm like an owl, I don't give a hoot."
  •  "Boys I will hurt u physically and meta-physically" 
  •  "Everything I say is 95% truthful."
  •  "I gotta work with what I got, its called improv-isavation." 
 "Yo beard is so fat, not even Dora can explore it!"



Video: The Best of Uncle Si
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